Matters of Opinion: Hallowing Halloween | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

Matters of Opinion: Hallowing Halloween | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

FEAR NOT! Saturday's workshop and introduction. Check it out!

http://www.newcreationhc.org/upcoming_events.htm 

May 14, 2011 - Anxiety: Freedom from Fear - Anxiety can waste our time and energy and keep us from doing things we want and need to do. Yet Jesus tells us to “be anxious for nothing”.  So why do some of us find this so hard to do?  How can we help those “in the anxiety trap”?  Come hear about ways God can set you and those you care about free from anxiety.  To download a brochure with registration form click here Anxiety: Freedom from Fear or for more information contact Marlene in our office by calling 603-642-6700 or Emailing her at nchcevents@yahoo.com

   My name is Kristen Smith and I have dealt with every possible anxiety symptom there is. From the time I was five I have battled anxiety and depression. Sometimes the two are very closely linked. Some just deal with depression, but I have found for me that depression is a product of the anxiety itself. Now, while I realize many deal with depression, I am mostly going to focus on the concerns of anxiety. Stress is also a very close cousin of anxiety and I will be dealing with that also.

     Now, like most disorders, anxiety has many forms and no two people are exactly alike. Everyone deals with it differently. We all have different backgrounds, causes, triggers, coping measures and symptoms. But the healing process is the same.

     I n my journey toward healing, I have tried many methods. I have read books, taken classes, seen therapists, taken medications, prayed, meditated on scripture, researched, seen doctors etc. everything. I did everything I knew to do and was willing to try anything to get better. I bet I’ve used at least 100 sources in my quest. I remember telling someone I would be willing to cut off my right arm to never deal with this again. But God gave me my right arm and wasn’t going to let me spare it. Then I couldn’t teach this class or write or wash my left arm. And we know that God equips the called, not always calling the equipped. Amen?

     One of the most upsetting struggles in my walk was the lack of understanding in the Christian community. In a perfect world God is all we need, and He is. His Word should be enough to heal every ailment. Faith should be enough to calm your every storm. While I knew this to true, it was not enough to help me. Usually, the spiritual solution left me feeling defeated. My faith wasn’t strong enough, I didn’t believe enough, I didn’t read enough, and I wasn’t a good enough Christian. I will never overcome because I am defective. Now, I know in my heart these thoughts are not true, but when you are in a constant state of anxiety you cannot see the truth. You cannot feel the truth. Confusion reigns supreme for the sufferer.

     God showed me one day, through a program, Attacking Anxiety and Depression by Lucinda Bassett and the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety, that there was practical and medical knowledge I desperately needed if I was to overcome this disorder. It was a 15 week study and it gave me tools I use to this day. The course has been invaluable. I believe that the Lord lead me to that program. I also read Joyce Meyer’s Be Anxious for Nothing and In Pursuit of Peace 21 Ways to Conquer Anxiety, Fear and Discontentment. These programs have workbooks and CD’s and DVD’s. I filled my mind with all the truth I could get, and strengthened with the practical, I found a new way of living and thinking.

     Everyone deals with feelings of anxiety at some point in their lives. Whether getting married, starting a new job, having a baby, or buying a house. Anxiety can just seem like worry or stress. Your life can be overwhelming at times. You feel you cannot handle the situation your in. Anxiety is different. It is a disorder (not a mental illness) where the worry is persistent and habitual. You feel you have no control over it. Your thoughts become unrealistic and hyper focused. You obsess. The anxiety interferes with every area of your life and hinders you from functioning normally. Anxiety disorders can involve physical symptoms, panic attacks, insomnia, and a whole list of uncomfortable conditions. Many of these thoughts and reactions are habits. Habits can be broken and replaced with new coping skills and new ways of thinking. How we think is a direct cause of most of all anxiety.

The Bible says a lot about worry, anxiety and fear. Jesus knew this would be one of man’s greatest struggles. We know that this is not what God meant for His people. Anxiety is not a normal condition for the believer. In 2 Timothy 1:7 it says-

     “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but He has given us a spirit of power, and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

     We’ve heard many scriptures in the Word about fear and anxiety, but haven’t learned “how” to apply this to our lives. In that last verse it talks about self-control. Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. God knew that we would need self-control to overcoming anxiety, because we have to learn to control our thoughts, our vain imaginations and strongholds that exalt themselves above the knowledge of Christ. This class will hopefully show you how to do that and learn new skills in helping you have that “mind of Christ” the Word speaks of.

When Jesus left, He said,

     “Peace I leave with you; My own peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid. Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.”

    Jesus left His peace. He didn’t say He left us money, or super powers, or perfect minds and bodies-He left His peace. Peace can govern your heart so that you are able to do all that God has called you to do. Peace is the opposite of anxiety. Peace is also a fruit of the Holy Spirit and so we know it can be cultivated in us. We know as long as we are in the world we will have trials, but we also know “He has overcome the world”, John 16:33. We can have the “peace that passes understanding”, because the Bible says so. 

     I’m here to teach you how to you that. I myself, am not perfected, but some of the skills I have learned are life long. The new habits I have enable me to know I will not be overcome. You too can overcome anxiety and walk in peace. You should be proud of yourself for taking this first step toward healing. In the weeks to come you will be on a journey that may be hard at times, but well worth it. So, let’s get to getting’.

butterfly photos by Kristen Smith

Blood, Sweat and Service With A Smile

     So I finished my MA studies and graduate in May. In the mean time, I study for my CMA, look for work, hang with family and go running. Just thought I'd reflect for a bit on the journey.
     The number one question I get is why aren't you a nurse? Well, it's not that I wouldn't love that and maybe someday I will be, but that is not the path I chose. It's only recently that I felt my youngest was old enough to handle my absences and lack of personal time for him. My children have been my number one priority and helping Kevin navigate through our business ups and downs. We decided that I would become a CMA. It was the quickest route to a steady income and still a profession I love. To the naysayers that tell me I won't find a job and won't make shit, I say, "God, has not taken me this far with these gifts to not place me in the perfect setting for His benefit and the benefit of all." Also, my school loans are pretty small so I don't need a crazy income to pay for them. I just wanted to be able to help with our finances and have some extra. (extra? what the hell is that?)
     I was so scared and excited in the beginning. I was the oldest in my class and wanted to do well. My family and friends found my worry humorous. And of course, they were right. I have a 4.0 GPA. I was the only one in quite some time to have 100% in A&P. Funny thing is, if I go on to nursing I have to take it again, but more in depth. Oh well, at least I have a jump start. I got along great with everyone in school and the girls thought I was a hoot. I've made some friends I think I'll keep :).
     The best part of school was my 5 week externship. Another question I get is "Why isn't it called an Internship?". Cuz it's still part of my schooling? I don't know. Don't care. Google it.
     I LOVED being at NCHC. LOOOOOVED it! For real. I got to do everything I was ever taught and more. By week two I was pretty much on my own with minimum supervision. The pace was fast and I was on my feet all day. I never sat down. I saw patients all day of every age and shape. I spent time with the dying, inflicted, infected, diseased, anxious, depressed, you name it. It was wonderful to have a challenging patient and get them to smile. Drawing blood was great. EKG's and swabs and cultures and codes and biopsies were all fun to me. I felt like I had stepping into a bath with the perfect temperature. I floated through the hallway with total joy. Seriously, my spirit felt at home. Being with humanity at their sometimes worst was a gift. When someone is scared and in pain, who cares that their nipple piercing is in your face? Who cares if the gay couple want to be together in the same room? Who cares that this woman is 400 lbs and needs your understanding? Who cares that this woman's UTI smells really bad or that this elderly person just threw up? Well, technically, I do. I care that they are treated with respect and a smile. Something inside of me clicks on when there's a challenge and things get crazy. So many different people, so little time! lol
     I was meant to do this. I was meant to do lots of things. Who knows where this is going to go? I can't live in the land of "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda". Yeah, it would be great to be a surgeon or specialist, but I'm not so.....let's see what I can do with this? I learned I want to be part of a family practice with their own lab. A place where they do everything. Maybe Acute Care or Emergency Care? I want to be part of a team where the Doctor continues to teach me. Being a CMA means I can do quite a lot under a Doctor's eye. I like that. I like that I'm covered and don't have to make the big decisions. I'm still raising kids! Isn't that enough? I'm lucky I remember to brush my teeth half the time.
     I guess the biggest thing, is that I remembered true joy. Joy is a gift from God. It is different than happiness. Happiness is nothing compared to joy. Joy is internally made. It has nothing to do with what people can do for you. It has everything to do with serving and touching a soul. Joy is Holy. When you are moving in your gift to bless others...that is joy.

Grayson

My boy has come a long way. For so long I wondered if I was doing the right thing for him, if I was disciplining him correctly. His intensity was always being labeled as a genetic hindrance. Advice was always being thrown at me on how to "handle" him. He is so strong willed. He is stubborn. He is energetic and intelligent. He is creative and funny. His anxieties have been a source of grievance for me, but he lives in a space that is more aware than most. He is aware of life's details and experiences, and for that I would never change him. There was never anything "wrong" with him. These are the characteristics of the successful. He is just a little boy making his way, but is only 9 and has his whole life ahead of him. I have had moments with him that no one will ever know, where I saw learning and epiphanies take shape and hold.
He is becoming the sweetest, most well behaved ,creative little boy I know. (except for Marshall, but that is another posting) He is learning to have sympathy and empathy for others. We are teaching him that life is hard and owes you nothing.To be a man of integrity you must hard work and have thankful heart. I finally realized that because I am a good mother and in tune with my children, I needed to listen to my heart. I do know what's best. God knows what's best and my husband knows best. Outside help, whether academic, spiritual, physical or psychological is welcome, but the responsibility is ultimately ours as his parents. He will not be mean, because we aren't. He will be strong because his father is. He will have faith because we demonstrate ours daily. He will fall, make mistakes and mess up royally and we will always be there to  love him and help lead him back to his path. Some day he will have his own path entirely and the only thing we as parents can say is that we did our best to lay the foundation.
We can't save every paper, drawing and grade Grayson comes home with. I always feel guilty when I throw away something he has made, like I'm throwing away of peice of him. But I know that's not true. Some I have put away and some I have hanging about. These are some of my favorites.

 Grayson made this year's ago. So how many kids decide a butterfly has teeth? This is hanging in my office and makes me smile.

This is pretty accurate!

His telling of the day cracks me up. This was last year and he was so nervous about being on the bus without me. Funny how he recalls me telling him to not play in the rotten apples.

I found this little gem hidden in a pile of stuff. I thought it was so cute I had to frame it. Their is something about the way the mouse is looking at the flowers....her paw and thoughtful pose.

Suze Orman just thoroughly pissed me off.

     Octo Mom, Nadya Suleman, was on Oprah today. She had gone through some previous financial sessions with Suze Orman and today they continued the interview.
For the record, I do not know either one of them and this is my blog so I can say what I want.
     Nadya is not a crazy as people think. She is not as shrewd either. Was she "crazy" to have eight babies put in her? Maybe. Although, if this was a middle class married couple from suburbia we would find them fascinating, wonderful and brave. So Nadya is not emotionally stable? Really? And her mother, her doctor and her sperm donor are???? The doctor should have his license revoked. Shame on people for blaming and losing their shit over children that are already here and born. Maybe she should have killed a few of them? Maybe it would have been better if she aborted them? Who is the public or Suze Orman to make that call?
     Suze Orman had valid points. She had sound advice, BUT she did not have the right to make this girl say OUT LOUD 3 TIMES that "had she known now what she knew then she would have made different choices". Really? Well no shit Suze. ME TOO! Anyone? Anyone ever make a mistake or royally screw up? (Well, yeah, but I didn't let a doctor put 8 eggs in my uterus). Oh really? Me neither, but would the public like to reveal what they have done? I don't think so.
     So here we are and lets deal with the choices. I refuse to deal with the would haves, should haves, could haves. You cannot change the past. What good does it do this woman to continue to feel regret? She hates herself now as it is. How healthy is that for her children?  Encouragement and future "right" decisions are what is needed NOW! Why must we continually kick those already down?
     I did not say I agree with her choices, but I agree to her responsibility. Maybe the state will end up with some of the children. Maybe they will have a tough life ahead. How is this different from the thousands that have the same issues? Why? Because this woman is a media spectacle? Suze Orman was the lucky gal who got to throw the stones for the public. Bitch. Shame on you. This isn't how I work. Again, I don't condone what Nadya did or even how she did it. But I would agree to whatever serves the best interest of these children. BTW-if people are mad that Medicaid and Medicare care for these children, using tax dollars, then I say you better agree to any moral means this woman comes up with for making money.

Just Cookin: Healthy Banana Flax Bread

So today's recipe is inspired by the disgusting, brown bananas sitting on my counter, which I'm sure would be surrounded by hovering fruit flies if it weren't so freaking cold.

I am a firm believer that we should be using whole, real ingredients. Yes, REAL butter, REAL eggs, REAL sugar. This bread is delicious and nutritious. If you have some of unsightly bananas hanging around, I suggest you give it a try. It is great plain or with a little pat of butter or cream cheese.

Healthy Banana Flax Bread
1/2 c. whole wheat flour (white or regular)
3/4 c. all-purpose flour
1/4 c. golden flaxseed (ground)
1/2 c. light brown sugar
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 egg plus 1 egg white
2 Tbls. melted butter
1 1/2 tsp. pure vanilla
3/4 c. mashed ripe banana (about 2)
1/2 c. chopped walnuts
Sugar in the Raw (optional)

Preheat oven to 350. Spray or butter 1 regular sized loaf pan or 2 mini loaf pans.

Whisk flours and baking soda and baking powder together in a bowl and set aside. If you are using unsalted butter add a pinch of salt to the mix.

Mix egg and white together on medium for about 2 minutes then add vanilla, butter, brown sugar and banana and beat together. Slowly add the dry mixture and mix until combined. Mix in the walnuts and pour into prepared pans. Sprinkle with sugar for a bit of sparkle and crunch.

Cook for about 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out slightly moist.

Let cool for a couple minutes then remove from pans to a cooling rack.

Enjoy!

Really? I Think I NEED More Facts.

 It seems that your life can be ruined for just about anything now. People are stupid some times. People make mistakes. But most people are not evil, like the media wants you to think. This story illustrates what happens if you act on instinct...like playing with someone's kid cuz ya know, it might be fun....God forbid.
 
Recently, the Williamson Family was on flight from Fiji to Sydney with their 17-month-old son, Riley. According to reps from Virgin Blue, one of their flight attendants noticed the young boy playing a game of peek-a-boo with his father and decided to join in on the fun. In an act we assume was without the parent's permission, the flight attendant hoisted the boy into one of the overhead compartments and closed the latch. Outraged, mother Natalie Williamson started yelling at the steward to release her son, which he did under a matter of seconds.
Now, the steward has been fired and Natalie is telling sources that their whole family is traumatized by the ordeal. She insists that her son was locked in the compartment for up to 10 seconds in complete darkness and now is suffering from anxiety and withdrawal because of it. Really? 10 seconds put this kid into PTSD? The airlines released an official apology to the family, as well as offered three free flights for the family to use. However, Natalie said she was too "shaken" to accept.Hmmmm....
Now, we're not arguing that this guy didn't cross a line. He had no business handling a child that young without the parent's permission.With that said, it's clear he was just trying to be friendly. Kids get fussy on planes. He was probably just trying to get the kid to laugh. This is where I  get confused. I mean, if they are this freaked out then they had to have been right there with their son. They had to have seen what was happening. They obviously aren't letting the child run a muck through the plane. So if the parents were in view why didn't they just stop him. I wasn't there obviously, but really???
They seem to be overacting a bit. Just sayin'. What do you say?

Look Dad! I have a BLOG!

There have been some requests to post what I wrote for my father's funeral. Some people are amazed that I wrote it the day before in one draft. I tell them, "If you want God to move, some times you need to get out of the way."

    

     Years ago my family and I were out to dinner. I had overeaten, as I can sometimes do, and was waiting to show off a new word I learned. I wanted my Dad to hear how smart I was and that I too can use big words. Well when the waitress asked if we wanted anything else I dramatically said, “Oh no thank you, I feel completely incarcerated.” There was a pause and I realized I had used the wrong word. I meant to say I felt inebriated or satiated, but I had failed and my mother explained that they were returning me to prison after dinner. My Dad thought this moment was rich, and repeated it often.He possessed a penchant for psycholinguistics and dialect. His circumlocutions could glaze over the eyes of even the most astute audience. He is the reason my dictionary was dog-eared and the reason I received a scholarship for my writing.

  

     I read everything I can and seem to know a little about a lot because of the books we shared. I read many many things way over my head. Too much science fiction, but pressed in to show my Dad I was just as smart. His writings and drawings were a constant fascination for me. The secrets in his dresser that I often scavenged. I would copy his drawings in my hand and became an artist in my own right. His hippie music and complete lack of timely fashion. i.e. , his corded bell-bottoms and wool lama vest from Peru, are the reason for my lack of conformity. He’s the reason I’m competitive and take every challenge very seriously. If you were going to play Risk or Monopoly with Dad you better learn how to suck it up. If he lost, it was always with humble praise to his opponent and queries into how this could have happened.

     My Dad was a big kid. His childlike goofiness was his best and most challenging trait. It was the reason people hung around and some times the bane of my mother’s existence. He was a little crazy. He had this green Gremlin with a sunroof. I would hang out the top on a summer night with the music blaring and bugs hitting my teeth. When the cops pulled us over, we’d stop and Dad would nod in agreement that this was not safe. But just long enough for the cops to leave. He always went too fast and thought nothing of going airborne in our big Checker Cab so that my head would hit the roof and Faith and Matthew would tumble around like dice. My mother was not happy…but we were. He would usually do this on our way home from church…a service he had slept through. He took the three of us sledding and I thought I would die every time. He taught us all how to shoot a gun and blow something up. He was a risk taker, but I have some crazy memories well worth it,  I have a book of memories begging to be written.

     Vacations were a blast. Holidays were fun. Yard work was an adventure. I loved showing him how hard I could work. I would get filthy to please him. I knew more about cars, engineering, stone walls and guns than anyone I knew. This thrilled me. I learned how to ride a bike, drive a car, swim, ice skate, steer a toboggan, throw a freesbie, catch a baseball, row a canoe, change my oil, wax a car, paint a fence, rake a lawn, shovel snow, chop wood, build a fire, pull the heads off mosquitoes after letting them bite you, camping….so much…all the reasons I know the manly things I know. All the reasons I’m comfortable and confident in my own capabilities.

     I bragged about how hard my Dad worked. He would build anything we needed and did anything we asked. He worked harder than anybody. I was proud of his dirty hands and the way he smelled of grease and sweat. I thought it amazing the lack of sleep he went on. He often worked two jobs and I was always having to drag him out of bed and make his lunch. People thing I’m always late because I developed this habit from my Mother-yeah, well Dad went to work many times still brushing his teeth. He worked too hard and slept too little. I would find him asleep on the floor, on the couch, in his car, in the basement…on the toilet .He would work all night and still work on our cars. I knew there was not a car he couldn’t fix and marveled at how he could smoke a butt while doing it, his eyes squinting as the smoke float around him, hands busy. If you snuck into the basement to bring him food you’d better be ready to listen to his commentary and feign interest. I felt guilty if I left him there. I bragged one time to a friend that he was a Master Mechanic. He embarrassed me making it quite clear he was not and that he had not gone that far in his education. I was confused by his humility. As far as I was concerned he could fix ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. And he usually did.

     I found the one thing my Dad couldn’t do. Anything to do with blood or the medical profession. For every pet we had it was always something. It was my job to deal with injuries and death. I relished telling him details as he got paler and told me the backs of his knees were starting to hurt, but he was so boyishly sensitive to these tragedies that I became soft. He cried when he buried a family pet. He sobbed deeply at my Nana’s death and the death of friends. He would get this look on his face like he knew something you did not understand. He would make something for us kids, leave notes, or save something obscure for deep purpose. He was deeply sensitive and sentimental. Some times I felt he bordered on cornball. We were always rolling our eyes. When he was working at Foss Manufacturing he came home with pressed lint from the machines because the pieces would look like faces or some 60’s acid trip. He was a collector of collections. His pack ratness was unprecedented and a major source of contention. But damn if he did have just what you needed when you needed it.

     My Dad’s humor will never be seen again. His humor was like a 1o year old. His jokes we so lame. His humor so potty. His references so predictable. His phrases so known. He was a caricature of himself. He could say things you knew no one was gonna say and thought it hysterical to fart in a crowd and walk away to witness the after math. This was not Dad behavior. We all rolled our eyes and said things like “Dad, you’re so queer”, or Matt would shake his head and laugh as he looked away. My sister put up with it all, but her comedic tolerance was limited. My mother’s, “Oh Dan” or Oh Dan be careful”, were constant. I had just emceed an event and performed some stand up and improv when someone mentioned aloud, “What goes on in her head?” I felt like that about Dad, but maybe didn’t want to know.

                                                                 

     I remember the way he was with Faith and Matthew when they were young. He was always kissing them, eating their cheeks, tickling or cuddling them. Crawling in their crib all dirty from work. Faith was so fair, her hair so wispy and her lips so bee stung. He ate her up. She was his “Downey Duck”. Matt was so plump and giggly he ate him up too. He was his “Matt Gooey Louie”. They knew how to listen and learn and have fun. He showed them EVERYTHING like he did me. He loved them deeply and I remember his face when he was loving them the most.

     My Dad’s love could be misguided. His intentions clouded. He was easily misled due to his inability to see the bad in people. My Dad made mistakes. The older I became and had a husband and children of my own, his weaknesses and faults were more easily seen than when I was a child. Our conversations frustrated him. My intellect irritating. My reasoning unfounded. I became a challenge for him. My deep growing spirituality self-righteous. He was deep and I was deep and our deepness collided. But in these last years he was still teaching me, but he didn’t know it. He taught me to not judge people. He accepted anyone. He taught me deeper grace and mercy. I learned acceptance and a lot about the human condition. I learned forgiveness is an act of the will as much as love. We are all tested and fall short of the glory of God. I learned sin is sin and that Salvation can never be taken from you. Jesus loves my Dad. My Dad believed who Jesus said He was. I saw my Dad weep many times in the Lord’s presence. It gives me great relief to know He is with Him now.

     I was four when Dan came into my life. Not everyone wants a woman who already has a child. I refused to call him my stepfather. It cheapened who he was. He was my provider, my teacher, my disciplinarian, my example and a patient listener. He was a constant and never left me. The memories I keep are good ones. I love him deeply. Painfully deep. Daniel Weitemeyer was and always will be my father.

Charlie Sheen

     I've been reflecting a little bit on this latest Hollywood drama.
     At first my attitude was one of indifference. I don't know any of these people personally and why should I care. Then I was entertained. I found it humorous to watch Charlie be an arrogant fruitcake on 20/20. I felt he was playing with the media and just trying to break the mold of censored  and controlled interviews.  He was drug free so he had to be acting on his own bad ass behalf. Sure, he has two women, but so do half the men in the industry. Sure he's done drugs and partied and bought hookers, but again, so have half the men in Hollywood. Big deal. He's a narcissistic boob and crazy to boot. NEXT! (yawn)
     Then...then I saw his children. Now, I'm not longer entertained. Now I'm sad actually. Before the world's eyes we see two innocent boys having to deal with this shit. Great. Is there no end to what America finds entertaining? I've already admitted I was too, at first. Oh how we love to set them up just to watch them fall.
     Why? What is the difference between this man's situation and a thousand other dysfunctional families. I'll tell you. Money. Money is what we think should change these situations. Money is what should prevent them in the first place. People with money have access to the best child care, doctors, lawyers and help.People like myself, who are money deficient, think we would never be in this situation if we were them. Maybe this wouldn't have even made the news had it been a middle class man having a midlife crisis.
     The truth has illustrated once again, money is nothing. Money can't heal brokenness or make good parents. Having everything at your fingertips doesn't mean you will be mentally or spiritually sound. Money has this way of causing people to think they are above it all. In the end, no amount of money will fix the damage done to these poor children.
     Just sayin'.

Two and a Half Men producer/show-creator Chuck Lorre had this to say in explaining his take on Charlie's mental health. I found this interesting---
      I understand that I'm under a lot of pressure to respond to certain statements made about me recently. The following are my uncensored thoughts. I hope this will put an end to any further speculation.
     I believe that consciousness creates the illusion of individuation, the false feeling of being separate. In other words, I am aware, ergo I am alone. I further believe that this existential misunderstanding is the prime motivating force for the neurotic compulsion to blot out consciousness.
     This explains the paradox of our culture, which celebrates the ego while simultaneously promoting its evisceration with drugs and alcohol. It also clarifies our deep-seated fear of monolithic, one-minded systems like communism, religious fundamentalism, zombies and invaders from Mars. Each one is a dark echo of an oceanic state of unifying transcendence from which consciousness must, by nature, flee.
     The Fall from Grace is, in fact, a Sprint from Grace. Or perhaps more accurately, 'Screw Grace, I am so outta here!'

Just Cookin: Sauteed Brussel Sprouts & Bacon

 This is Lisa's first post as my recipe bff. Stilling trying to figure out how this is gonna work, but for now check it out! Yay Lisa!


 
Hey All!
Ten Things About Me.
1.  Kristen and I have been besties since we were about five.
2.  I nagged her to start a blog until she finally started a blog.
3.  I nagged her to let me post my recipes on her blog.
4.  I'm officially sick of Winter
5.  I have a girl crush on Jennifer Lopez
6.  When I get hungry, I use Crest whitestrips
7.  I keep vodka in my freezer at all times
8.  I'm addicted to food blogs
9.  I LOVE to take cook and bake
10.  I LOVE to take pictures

Phew. That was a load off my mind. With that being said. I am going to throw some recipes and photos up here on Kristen's little blog. I hope you enjoy them.

Today as I was walking through the grocery store, enjoying it thoroughly before I picked my daughter up at school, I came across a beautiful little package of fresh brussel sprouts. Now I know many of you are thinking "Gross". They can be a bit of an acquired taste. But give this recipe a try. Bacon, or pancetta if you're snobby, brown sugar and sprouts are absolutely delicious, fresh and sweet. So good. Now I must go and devour my sprouts and then have to explain to the rest of the family why the house smells like it does.

Enjoy the day!

Sauteed Brussel Sprouts and Bacon
Cleaned sprouts with the end and outer leaves off
2 slices thick bacon
1 Tablespoon brown sugar

Look at these little beauties

Slice bacon into thin strips

Saute bacon and brown sugar until sugar dissolves and begins to caramelize, then add sprouts and 1 Tablespoon of water and saute until starting to brown and serve.

83rd Oscar Winners

 Just a list of winners, well the ones I care about anyway. I predicted the first five, but this year had no surprises and everyone was deserving. Still have to see The Social Network.

BEST PICTURE

The King’s Speech

BEST ACTOR

Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

BEST ACTRESS

Natalie Portman, Black Swan

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Christian Bale, The Fighter

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Melissa Leo, The Fighter

BEST DIRECTOR

Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech

BEST SONG

“We Belong Together,” Toy Story 3, Randy Newman

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Inception, Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Alice in Wonderland, Colleen Atwood

BEST MAKEUP

The Wolfman, Rick Baker and Dave Elsey

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
The Social Network, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

BEST ANIMATED FILM

Toy Story 3

BEST ANIMATED SHORT

The Lost Thing, Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Inception, Wally Pfister

BEST ART DIRECTION

Alice in Wonderland, Robert Stromberg, Karen O’Hara

The Fighter

     I was brought back to my early 20s, back to all the angst and drama fueled days spend wandering the streets of MA. I knew the people in this movie. I met these same people when I used to hang out at the Lafayette Club in Amesbury above a boxing gym. I knew lots of people on drugs who lived their days remembering their one "great moment" in history. The music score swung my soul right back to hot summers, lazy days, smoking butts and family dysfunction. Good times, my friend.
     I loved this movie. Someone give Christian Bale an Oscar for just being so freakin' gross and lovable at the same time. His turn as Dicky Eklund was so authentic I forgot who he really was. And who knew Amy Adams, as Charlene, could be such a good hearted loser with a right hook. She made me want to go back in time and kick the ass of some bitches who needed a slap. And then we have Melissa Leo as Alice Ward, Micky's mom. Who IS this woman? Alice is the epitome of white trash, raising white trash daughters, talking smack,  spreading her codependent ways like thick second hand smoke. Loved her!!! Mark Wahlburg doesn't even seem like he's acting. This character is perfect for him. He is effortless. I have a feeling, he too, knows this life and these people.
     This movie was not pretty. None of the people in it are particularly pretty. Even Adams has some unflattering shots. Mark Wahlburg had some moments but the movie was shot in such a way that no one cared about gloss and aesthetics . The story is so strong you care about these people immediately. Life is better than fiction and this movie proves that. These are real people, with real lives and real stories. There are times when I want fantasy and air brushing. This isn't one of them. There is a scene with Dicky and Micky that made me cry and fight scenes that made me cling to my friend's arm. For all the dysfunction and co-dependency, love ruled this movie.
     I don't think The Fighter will win Best Movie, but I think it will get something. I think Melissa Leo could possibly take Best Supporting Actress. I highly recommend this movie. I give it 5 stars. ★★★★★

Answers to Hard Case Abortion Arguments

This is my Ethic's Term Paper. It will probably piss some people off. It should. Abortion is evil.

10 week fetus

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew and approved of you as My chosen instrument and before you were born I separated and set you apart…” Jeremiah 1:5 AMP

     For the sake of argument I will not be arguing when life begins.  There are facts through science that have already answered this question. If life is defined by science then,

 “By all the criteria of modern molecular biology, life is present from the moment of conception.” –Professor Hymie Gordon, Mayo Clinic.

     The woman’s egg is fertilized by a sperm and science calls it a zygote. The zygote now has its own genetic DNA separate from the woman’s. It carries all the code a full grown human has. It is an individual person.  By definition personhood also begins at conception. Only in the abortion debate is this an issue. There is no example of life starting off as something different than the final result. We do not start off as nonhuman and become human because we grow. We are human from the beginning. Actually, all the logic against the unborn’s personhood are illogical and false.  This specific issue would be funny if it weren’t so tragic. I could go on for pages and pages but this paper is not about that.

      One of the big questions I run into is the case for rape and incest. Why should an innocent woman have to suffer all her days with a baby that was not conceived in love, but by a horrific crime? Women shouldn’t have to carry a baby they don’t want and be put through more trauma and responsibility. It’s not fair. What about incest? No one should ever have to carry a baby conceived that way. The baby will be born with deformities and have a horrible life. Abortion is definitely justified in these cases.

     According to the Guttmacher Institute, only 1% of all reported abortions in the United States were due to forced intercourse.  1% of 1.21 million abortions performed is a very small percent. We use rape as a defense because Americans believe the rate is much higher. It is actually very rare and very preventable.  Conception does not occur immediately and medicinal prevention to conception is widely available. Many woman lie about their “rape” due to fear, feeling that rape will justify their abortion. This was the case in Roe vs. Wade.

     Rape is never the fault of the child. The unborn cannot be punished by killing them. The unborn are individuals that are innocent regardless of how they came to be. Civilized people do not put to death the children of rapists or any offender, for that matter. The unborn are not responsible for the crimes of their parents. Carrying the baby to term, raising the baby, adoptions etc. are definitely very hard for the mother. The decisions are many and she needs support, but none of it justifies the taking of another’s life. The rapist is the one that needs to be punished. Of course, this comes back to the “When Does Life Begin” debate, which I have already addressed.

      Abortion is as violent to the baby as rape is to the victim. The two events are of the same philosophy, one human acting on an innocent with totally disregard.  Abortion does not bring healing to the rape victim. For many women it brings added guilt, especially years later when they are no longer in denial. Abortion does nothing bad to the man who raped her and it does nothing good for the woman. Abortion creates a second victim. Of the women that I know personally who had children born from rape, the child was a gift and part of their healing. They brought something beautiful into the world from something ugly.  Adults that were born of rape feel the same way. They are glad to be here and want their lives validated.

     Incest is even worse than rape and pregnancy through rape is very rare. Incest is horrible and evil, but it IS a form of rape and the same truths still apply. Incest does not cause mutations; it only allows the recessive genes that are faulty to be reinforced.  Incest raises deformity rate but is also rare. We cannot destroy life for the abuses of another.  The victim should be removed and protected. Abusers should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. The victim needs full support through the healing process. In time, her choices of prevention, protection, raising or adoption become a lot clearer. Still, the taking of an innocent life cannot be justified and brings me to my next case.

     What about deformities? It isn’t right to bring a child into this world when they are just going to die. It’s not ethical to make a child suffer and go through life with horrible disabilities. It’s not fair to make a mother go through having a baby that is going to be such a burden. It’s not fair to burden society with them either. It is cruel to the child and it costs way too much money to care for these kids. What if the mother can’t afford the child’s care or can’t handle the child’s disability? Won’t the child end up worse in the end than if she had aborted it?

     The number one thing to realize here is the diagnosis is sometimes wrong. If we are talking about the life of another human being, wouldn’t we err on the side of caution? We do for every other circumstance.  Sometimes these diagnoses aren’t even proven or the deformity is minor. Other times deformities can be corrected quite successfully. The tests used to determine POSSIBLE deformities are more life threatening than the methods used. Amniocentesis can be dangerous and has many risks. In my personal life experience, four tests showing a Down syndrome issue, turned out to be false.

     When we abort a child with deformities we are saying we know best.  How is it not cruel to decide that ending their life is really the best? This is child abuse. Maybe we should ask the handicapped if they think they should have been allowed to live.  If abortion is the answer to control suffering, the born handicapped really shouldn’t be here. The same logic for saving society from such burdens could be to round them up and execute them. Hitler tried that with the Jews. The justification of killing because of undesired results or opinion is genocide. People who say, “Oh well, they are going to end up a vegetable,” just dehumanizes them, but they are still human in nature.  What was human will be human no matter what you call it.

     In deciding what we think is best for the handicapped child; we are really saying we don’t want the responsibility to care for them. There are plenty of people on this earth that are willing to raise a child with deformities and handicaps. The joy some of these children bring to families and the obstacles they have overcome are countless. Children with deformities are not always the burden people think and the prisons are filled with many non-handicapped people that are not only burdens to society but are no longer social assets.

     Even if a child is going to die, it is better to have those few precious moments than to spend eternity knowing it was you that ended their life. To mourn the loss of a child, even one alive for 45 minutes, is normal and better than the psychological trauma abortion brings. Healthy grief from natural death trumps taking a life. We cannot decide for the unborn what they would want. They cannot speak for themselves and in making the decision to end their life we have played God. The same reasons people use for killing handicapped/deformed unborn can only be valid if those same reasons can be used on those already born. Nowhere in society do we accept inflicting pain on another to alleviate our own discomfort or challenge.

     So really, we’re left with the “what if the mother is going to die?”  This isn’t even an argument. Abortion was legal to save the mother before “abortion-for-hire” was protected. If a woman is pregnant and she has cancer, the removal of the cancer may end the baby’s life. This is not abortion because a life has been saved. Abortion is the taking of a life. Ending a pregnancy to save a life is morally sound. When two lives are at risk and only one can survive, doctors by law must save that life. There are cases where the life saved is the baby’s. Every case is different, but better to save a life is better than to lose two. Also, these cases are even rarer than rape cases and even Planned Parenthood has said, “It is possible for almost any patient to be brought through pregnancy alive, unless she suffers from a fatal illness such as cancer or leukemia, and, if so, abortion would be unlikely to prolong, much less save, life.”

     These cases are hard but mostly exceptional. There is no scientific evidence or rational thought that proves an unborn child is not human.  No matter how a child was conceived or developed, she is still a human.  What women need is support, understanding and compassion. True compassion serves both mother and baby.

Coke Zero

Why? Why does everything good have to be so bad? I love this stuff. I use the term stuff because it's really not a food. It's really a combination of sugars and chemicals.Coke is soooo bad for you. I rarely drink it.
It tastes better cold btw. That's is why I take it ice fishing. Can't they substitute aspartame with Truvia? That would make it almost perfect. Well, if I could get past the caramel color and phenylalanine. What the hell IS that.
*sigh* Back to water and ice tea. Meh.